My sister Jess and I often exchange e-mails several times in a day: when we're puttering around the internets, we sometimes run across stuff we want to share with each other. She sends me links to shiny things or gift ideas for our mom for mother's day; I mostly send her links to weird stuff. And shoes. So, so many shoes. I love shoes. I am the cheapest woman on earth except when it comes to shoes. I looooove shoes. Lately, I especially love these shoes:
Lookit them! Look. At. Them. Aren't they pretty? And you can go here and see them from various angles. Check out that heel and the sole! I'm pretty sure that's faux bois! Who wouldn't love to walk on fake wood?? Well, I would, anyway. (Get it? I wood. Bwah ha ha). Red is my favorite color, and they look comfy, and they're on sale for 60% off. WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?
So I sent the link to my little sister, and you know what she said? Do you know what she said about my New Favorite Shoes in the Whole Wide World?
She said they "seem too girly-part looking to me. ew."
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I send my sister a link to the best shoes on the planet, and she tells me they look like lady bits.
Now what am I supposed to do? Do I walk away from my New Favorite Shoes in the Whole Wide World? Do I pretend her e-mail response got lost among the tangly world wide web? Do I order the shoes and wear them around just my sister, singing "Vagina shoes! Vagina shoes!" in a high-pitched freaky voice?
Yeah, that's what I thought, too.