On rearing a wee serial killer*

Is it wrong that this plastic doll arm is one of V's favorite toys? Is it wrong that she's wearing a Johnny Cash t-shirt with red and yellow hawaiian print pants and a pink sweater? Because if this is wrong, honey, I don't wanna be right.

I also find myself compelled to buy the strangest toys at thrift stores. I know I posted in the past about the ever-so-appealing Gomez Addams doll, but did you know V also plays with not just a Mr. Magoo doll, but a Mr. Magoo On Vacation doll?? I'm pretty sure this is how to raise your own serial killer...

In the back of my mind, I recall a controversy from the recent past about a Mr. Magoo movie that was never released because the blind population protested. Maybe I'm making that up, but just in case, let me for the record state that I do not condone the mocking of blind people, nor do I find it funny when people can't see. I just think stuffed toys in the form of little old men are funny. Now I suppose the AARP will stomp all over me with their canes and Hoverrounds, but sometimes you just gotta take a risk.

Here's a handy list of words my kid can say. She doesn't use them in context much (except for "hi," "Bye!" and "cracker") but she can say the words.

Bye

cracker

circle

thank you

moo

cluck (duck? muck? It's so hard to tell)

two (said in response to "one...")

four (in response to "three...")

quack

yeah

no

meow

hi

I'm not so sure the child needs to know what animals say: how often do you personally use this information? At any rate, there's really not a lot more she needs to know. I mean, many people get by in life with even fewer words. Speech is overrated.

Now I'm gonna get yelled at by the mutes and speech teachers and animal rights activists. Damn.

*Did I ever mention that as a child I was mildly obsessed with Ed Gein? And as an adult how I am mildly obsessed with hating on Wikipedia?

Guten Tag, Meine Liebchens!

Ah, another triumphant return...So Blogger got all advanced while I was gone...stand-by for much high-falutin blog-antics.

Things I've been up to in the last 5 weeks:

1. Preparing for the largest garage sale NW Minnesota has ever seen

2. Enjoying spring break, including quality time with and without my sweet girl

3. Working

4. Sewing funky dolls (see photo, above, from the fabulous book Stupid Sock Creatures, a gift from my sister)

5. Reading lotsa blogs

6. Watching LOST, American Idol, and catching up on 24

7. Making myself new skirts

8. Playing Viva Pinata

9. Eating Girl Scout cookies

So as you can see, my dance card is full, and this extended absence is clearly not personal. It's not you, it's me. I do hope to be posting more regularly, and as I continue to refine my audience (hi, Aunt Shirley, Carla, and Tenessa), I expect I will get more excited each day.

And Sprout grows every day. Here she is, in a t-shirt from Prospective Aunt Johanna. 18 months old and moving at the speed of light. She likes for her belly to stick out of whatever she wears, and at this point it's too cute to worry about her reputation.

She's been diagnosed with a congenital heart defect, which we'll hopefully be having repaired in mid-April...mostly I'm trying not to think about it, in the hopes that then it won't bother me. It's a same-day surgery (she won't have to spend a night in the hospital) and fairly simple, but it is still the scariest thing we've encountered yet. I always thought those Hallmark cards and movies were overly enthusiastic about the heart-wrenchingness of parenthood, but the fact that just typing the words "congenital heart defect" makes me want to projectile vomit leads me to believe they were considerably more accurate than I could have ever imagined. It reminds me, too, of how much more comforting life could be if I only believed in some semblance of higher power.

Damn atheism, failing me again.

Umlaut

Since we named our child a letter, I should confess that I've always loved the word umlaut. I love how it sounds like what it does to a vowel: I love its simplistic little sideways-colon-ness. Perhaps someday when we have a pet again, we can name her or him Umlaut, and I'll get to say it all over town.

The cold is wearing me thin here, but I've been making lots of dolls and doing some embroidery, which is sort of new for me (the embroidery, I mean). I'll try to get pictures, though I'm not terribly proud of most of them since they are from patterns or other outside inspiration and not of my own devising. I mean, I'm still proud, just not AS proud.

In other news, I can barely contain my excitement for the new LOST episode on tonight! I so want to be a non-tv person, but it's just not possible with my lifetime companion, so I've caved in and now accept my fate.

V is walking now with a vengeance (hm. Maybe I should tell people that's what the V stands for), and it melts a momma's heart. We are better now, from my whiny last post, and thank you all for your support. I'm still trying to catch up but will very soon be there. To prove I wasn't making it up, though, here's a shot of V in the hospital crib with her Daddy looking on:

I know, I know, it's terrible, isn't it? But at least the sides are down, and she doesn't look so much like a caged zoo animal. Her arm is in the splint to keep her off the IV, which had been removed by the time I took this. And she was just mad for a second and then cheered right up, I swear.

Now, a more normal picture, showing off her sweet haircut and intense stare.

Isn't that better?

Where've you been, my darlings?

So the stomach flu has hit this part of the state with a vengeance. Or at least our part. I had so much posting to do about holiday goodness, but instead, I'm going to fill you gentle readers in on my activities from January 5-12, 2007.

• Friday am: V wakes up vomiting. We are out of town, but after five hours of throwing up we decide we better get her home in case she needs to be hospitalized
• Friday 5pm: V admitted to the children's ward of our local hospital, having vomited over 50 times in 10 hours. In her iron crib with a plastic canopy, I try to get her to play "Boy in a Bubble" until I realize it's not funny.
• Saturday 5pm: V gets discharged, and is much better. I go to to the grocery for jello and pedialyte and come home sick. Violently sick. Stomach pains so severe I repent for sins I haven't even committed yet sick.
• Sunday am: V throws up in her crib, Shaun runs downstairs to call my mom, then sits, trying to take deep breaths, in his chair. (I should note for those of you unfamiliar that Shaun has deep, dreadful anxiety, and much of it is connected to vomiting).
• Sunday at 5: My mom goes home. I feel better, and V has settled down. Shaun proceeds to get sick.
• Monday, 3:30am: Shaun, V, and I go to the ER because Shaun can't stop vomiting. V throws up in the ER. I take her home, sleep 4 hours, and call my mom. Shaun's mom comes Monday night.
• Tuesday: V keeps getting better, I go to work for 4 hours, garner pity with my generally pathetic appearence. I finally get Shaun's psychologist in to see him. Shaun's mom and I hang out, talk about how cool V is, complain about George Bush.
• Wednesday, 6am: My mother-in-law calls out from the guest room to tell me she's sick. I drive the hour and half (twice, for three hour total) to their house before noon to go get my father-in-law, because they only have one car and I can't have a sick mother-in-law on my hands too.
• Thursday: My mother-in-law has gall bladder surgery. We still don't know if she had the flu or if it was just a horribly timed gall bladder attack.
• Friday, 9 pm: Shaun's released from the hospital, but not before I bring V over and let her yell in the hallways near his room, so they have to hurry up the discharge process.

Sorry if this was self-indulgent/not helpful. It helps me to sketch it out, and I feel a little less like this has actually been a 2-month long nightmare when I can see it in a weekly schedule. Shaun is still only working at about 75%, and is exhausted and barely eating, but he's recovering. V is much better, and I just haven't had any time to be sick. There were times in the last two weeks when I felt like I was only still moving forward by gritting my teeth incredibly hard and clenching every muscle in my neck.

So, for those of you wishing for an update from this house, you didn't really want to know, did you? Please if you've tried to contact me recently, know I'm working on getting back to folks and gradually working my way through the backlog. Classes started last week (in the midst of all the horrors) and I'm just now feeling prepared to teach.

In the meantime, a little picture to cheer us all up. Here is V and my mama, who was the only one left standing after all this. I don't know how we would've made it through without her. I am reminded again how good it is to have family just 30 minutes away that I can call, anytime, day or night, and just know they will help make it better.

Hope you had a blessed holiday season, and may this stomach flu give you and yours a wide berth. And may 2007 get better from here on out.

Issue 1, Volume 9

Ah, the namesake of this website's Issue I, V9 is finally back from the printers. Those of you who signed up for my art trade will be getting one, as well as something that involves more glue. Those of you who are regular Languishing (the paper version) subscribers will get one, too...anyone else who wants one can ask, and as long as I have enough leftovers after the subscribers and contributors, I'll keep sending them until I run out. The photo doesn't caputer this, but the cover is a lovely cream color and the pages are coral. It's sort of a dreamsicle issue, and the theme (we rarely have themes, and when we do they are so loose) is Work. Back issues are also available, but I should look into that more and provide more specific detail before I get everyone in a lather over it. I know how you all like to get in lathers.

Perhaps my gentle readers are wondering why I would try to finish this new issue of Languishing during the last week of class. Mostly it's a procrastination tool for me: something distracting and satisfying that keeps me from the utter depression that is 50 research essays by college freshpeople. I actually graded 25 of those last night, and will do the other 25 tonight, so the zine was a welcome, cheering break.

AND! Our digital camera came back from the shop. I didn't mention the fact that it was ailing for fear of pissing off the camera gods even more, but it was covered under warranty and is all better now. Expect more mediocre pictures in blogland, thanks to United Camera Repair in Illinois.
15 months old, and she's just this tiny little person. She is so different from her father and me in so many ways. I love her.

Exciting Opportunity! Kinda!

I saw this on MaryAnn's blog, and now I'm adding it to my blog. The first five people to respond to this post (via the comments section) will get some form of art made by me. I haven't posted much of my art on this blog, but trust me, you'll like it. Well, trust me, it'll be different than you expect. Okay, you might not exactly like it, but it will certainly be memorable. And what's not to love about interesting mail??

The only catch, of course: if you sign up, you have to put this in your own blog as well. If you don't have a blog, well, you should, but I'll still send you something just the same, if you write in your comment a good excuse as to why you are not blogging like the rest of the world.

Okay? Exciting, exciting. It might take me a couple of days to send things, because I'm in my last week of classes right now, but don't worry, I won't forget you. Make sure I can reach you through the info you leave on the comment (an e-mail or some such thing) so I know where to send my artwork.

Sweet blogging art world meme. I love it.

Champagne Tastes and a Beer Pocketbook...

I guess I've decided to title my posts of late with songs my father loved. It sounds like a K-Tel compilation, doesn't it? "Songs my father loved...now for only $19.95!"

A tiny picture of the baby, who is 15 months old tomorrow:

My parents, my father, especially, loved to take pictures of us in mirrors. This way he could show my long, flowing, naturally curly hair and my cute pixie face at the same time. I wish we still had that mirror we used for those photos: it was old, a little discolored, and had a wide white frame. For now, we're punting with this unbreakable one, and V seems to dig it.

In other news, new issues of Languishing are finally ready to go to press. Thanks for all who have patiently waited on this...I promise it'll be worth the wait. Well, it'll be better than a poke in the ass with a cold carrot, as Tenessa's dad likes to say.

I won't go huntin' with you Jake....

Quilt retreat, fall 2006. A commissioned baby quilt for Grandpa Glee, for a hunting friend's new son. I made a matching pillow, too, and sent it off before Thanksgiving. It's weird making a present on behalf of someone else...for someone I've never met. But it turned out pretty well, methinks. I used 2 layers of poly batting, backed it in navy blue poplin, and machine quilted in the ditch.

We've been going to quilt retreat up to twice a year for about eight or nine years, and it is a rejuvinating experience everytime. We started because my mom's best friend from college, Kathy, was going with her daughters, Jennifer and Emily, who are roughly our age and whom we've known all our lives. But it's at a Baptist Bible Camp, which does wear on a good atheist girl like me. Every time for the past few years, either my sister or I have struggled, and vowed not to return. But I think we would all miss the seclusion and shared eye-rolling that comes whenever people pray for non-believers or a fellow quilter tells me with a straight face that she "voted for Pat Buchannan for president, because he most closely stand for what I believe in." I don't really spend time with people like that in my real life.

Another photo of quilt retreat: the whole gang: all the people connected to Kathy. The clown noses are because it was a circus theme. That's me in the upper lefthand corner, and yes, I'm pissed off. But that's another post.

Mmm. That's good foot.

Taking off her socks is one of V's favorite hobbies, and these socks are particularly hard to remove, so she's taken the brilliant step of trying to gnaw them off. These action shots were taken on the way to Park Rapids. I hope she can find use for them when she applies to join the circus, as either an acrobat or a freak. Either way, clearly this is evidence that my child is not merely gifted, but extraordinary and fully deserving of a place in history, or at least full time position with Barnum and Bailey.

Have I mentioned how surprised I was when she was born physically normal? I was certain we'd at least get a tail, or some scaly skins. But no, all my devotion to circus sideshows not withstanding, we were given this smiley, laid back, cheerful blue eyed girl. We should've named her Marilyn, like on the Munsters. She will probably bring dates home in fifteen years who expect normal, well-adjusted parents who will run screaming from our Lily and Herman-esqueness. With any luck, I'll have time to show the above photos, in our defense.

We went to the big city this weekend, my daughter and I. Fabulous people there in the big city; it makes me more lonesome, in the end, and I hate that. And there's never enough time to see everyone and do everything we want to, and I never get more than 5 hours sleep a night while we're there. But otherwise we had a spectacular time. City Friends: we're coming back, the weekend of Thanksgiving. I know many of you will be busy, but hopefully that will cull the herd, so we can concentrate on some of you folks we never get to concentrate on.

In the meantime, don't try that foot trick at home. You could poke an eye out.

Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home...

Because Ladybugs aren't scary, I kept insisting V was an asian beetle, but most everyone ignored me. One colleague thought she should be an asian ninja beetle, and offered to make her a tinfoil throwing star, but we were busy and couldn't wait around. All in all, it was an adorable Halloween, even if (or perhaps because) I worked until 7:15, ran home to take these pictures, and then went to my poetry workshop group at 8.

I do feel somewhat bad that I didn't make her costume, but then I remembered that I work full time, and I felt better. On the plus side, though, I bought this last year after Halloween, as is my way, and I think it's so cute, she may just wear it as a mid-weight jacket until she outgrows it. It makes me smile to see her little antennae and the wings on her back. Is that weird, to let your kid wear her halloween costume all year long?

Do you love the John Deere tractor and the Homer slipper in these photos? I am all about the staging and the ambiance. I bar no expense for you, gentle readers!

To celebrate that Blogger is letting me post pictures again, here's another, just to keep you alert. I know it's kinda dark and slightly blurry, but it's the cutest one of me in the bunch, and lord knows it's all about my own cuteness. Light and clarity be damned!

Gratuitous Halloween Post

If I had but light enough and time, I would pull out every single stop for Halloween. Not like the giant inflatable yard items, but like the spiderweb curtains, the steaming dry-ice punch bowl, and homemade costumes for everyone in my family and raging decor for our house. Like this, or this, or this. But at the very least, I could make these. Right? But right now I'm feeling like, at 14 months, V just is not going to really remember anything we do yet, so why bother? Of course, there are great photo ops, and if I don't do anything this year, maybe I'll like it and be too lazy to do anything next year....and my poor child will grow up without any significant memories. So I'll scrape a costume together, and trick Shaun into taking her trick or treating, and find a pumpkin to carve. And maybe next year, we'll have monster lips and steaming punch and cold spaghetti intestines. And everyone will go home happy.

No photos. Blame Blogger.

Words to reclaim, for the good of the English Language

I was reading someone else's blog the other day (which I can't find again, because if I could I would link to it), and she was discussing words that have fallen out of favor but are particularly wonderful. Her list included the especially marvelous:

Fie as a curse word.
Poppycock, as an expression of disbelief.
“I’ve got a hitch in my git-along,” meaning “I feel stiff.”
Zozzled, meaning drunk.

I love these. I want to add some of my own particular favorites:

Smitten, which makes me think of mittens and kittens and smooch. Which is about right, isn't it?
Sweet on, as in "I'm kinda sweet on my biology teacher. He's dreamy."
Splendillyiscious, which I may have made up, but enjoy just the same.
bona fide, which is just fun to say.
brouhaha, as in "What's the brouhaha," meaning hubbub or uproar.
hubbub, meaning brouhaha.
_______mobile, like "bitchmobile," or "mamamobile," or "nerdmobile," in describing what exactly a mode of transportation is carrying. Lately, it's been "Freaky garbage mobile."

So those are my words. And ye? Yourn? Share, won't you?


In the meantime, the title of this photo is:

All I need is my bottom lip. My bottom lip, and this record player. And this scooter. Oh, and that TV. That's all I need. Oh, and this miniskirt. Right.

Insistently persnickity blithering delusions

So I am mildly obsessed with this site, the Juicy Readability Test. Basically, you give it your blog (or someone else's) and they calculate how difficult/complex/advanced it is. Languishing has not thus far fared as well as I'd hoped.

You need less than a fourth grade education to read and understand Languishing.

This disappoints me, but then I remembered that it doesn't say "Hey, it looks like a third grader wrote this." No, it just says third graders could understand this. Which is okay, I guess, if you're some kind of freakishly dorky third grader who wants to read about my life and crafts and look at lousy pictures I take. Go get 'em, pardner.

But in the interest of raising my pitifully pathetic scores, and because most of the scoring comes from (as near as I can reckon) the number of multiple-syllabic words, I am hereby declaring my intention to pack in as many three-syllabe words into each post as I can. At least for awhile.

I'm shooting for a 5th grade audience, ladies and gentlemen, and it doesn't seem to be working.

I realize I could play this game by just typing "harmonica" over and over and over again, but that's just stupid. Instead, I'm forcing myself to discuss things like the travesty of fornicating educators and the truancy of rhythmically challenged percussionists. And don't even get me started on trolloping magnificent meteorologists. Man, have I got some stories to tell...

So stay tuned. I gotta go find my thesaurus. I mean, I must venture onwardly to discover my encyclopedic-esque tome of longer freaking words to use.

Knifty Knitter Looms: not for the faint of heart

I can't stop making hats. I make almost one a day. I've given almost everyone I know a hat, so now I will have to give hats to strangers, I guess. I'll walk down the street, just looking for the hatless, and Wala! Out of my pocket, a new hat! Would you find it odd if a complete stranger just gave you a homemade hat?

Yeah, me too.

I made this one on the 2nd smallest knifty knitter loom. It takes me about an hour, hour and a half, to make one V's size. She has four or five.

So...Anybody want a hat? I can make big girl sizes too. Or boy sizes. First person who asks, I'll make you a hat and send it to wherever you are. Bring it on.

I tagged myself. Sad but true.

9 Lasts --
9.] last place you were: Besides here? Cashwise. And before that, Willie's in Dilworth.
8.] last banana split: Just a couple of nights ago. I ate the last banana in the house.
7.] last beverage: Coca-cola classic
6.] last movie watched: The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Funny, but not ha-ha.
5.] last phone call: My momma, who has a bad cold.
4.] last song played: Er, NPR? Actually, "Today 4 You" from Rent.
3.] last BUBBLE bath: A month or more ago. I should get on that.
2.] last time you cried: Yesterday. Reading SouleMama.
1.] last tv show watched: South Park

8 have you evers --
8.] have you ever dated someone twice: like, broke up and got back together? Yes.
7.] have you ever been cheated on: Not that I know of. Exactly. Well kinda.
6.] have you ever kissed someone: Dumb question.
5.] have you ever kissed someone you regret: Repeatedly.
4.] have you ever fallen in love: yes.
3.] have you ever lost someone: Yes. But then I looked under the bed, and there he was.
2.] have you ever been depressed: ever not? er, yes.
1.] have you ever been drunk and thrown up: Seriously. Dumb questions.

7 famous people you'd like to hang out with --
7.] Steve Swiggum (how do you spell that, anyway?)
6.] Barry Pepper
5.] Tina Fey
4.] Loretta Lynn
3.] Janeane Garafalo
2.] Jon Stewart
1.] Michael J. Fox

6 things you've done today --
6.] watched South Park. The kindergarten teacher was having sex with Kyle's brother.
5.] went shopping with my sister and our babies
4.] laundry
3.] Ate an ultimate turtle fudge brownie
2.] Graded 20 papers
1.] Watched this week's LOST.

5 people you can tell pretty much anything to --
5.] V
4.] Tami
3.] Jeni
2.] Tenessa
1.] Shauners

4 favorite colors --
4.] purple
3.] orange
2.] red
1.] yellow

3 things you want to do before you die --
3.] Go back to the Wisconsin Dells and play with the family.
2.] See Ireland
1.] Watch my daughter grow up, preferably healthily & happily.

2 favorite ice cream flavors --
2.] peppermint bonbon
1.] Pralines & cream

1 job you wanted as a kid --
1.] Poet (I know. Dorky.)

So there you go. I tag Carla and Tenessa. Tag! You're it.

Please, Chino, let it not be true...

So this, ladies and

gentlemen, is my daughter. Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone. Fruit of my womb. Seriously. My friends assure me this is just a phase, but her father is encouraging this face whenever possible, so I assume her prom pictures will look much like these, but without the bib (or the top-of-the-head ponytail. Maybe).

Here's a shot sans flash, so you can see she makes this face even with her eyes open. (yes, we know she needs a haircut. Back off). Often, she lowers her bottom lip so we can see her 1.5 teeth. And she makes disturbing sounds like "mmmna, mmmna, mmmna." Which is perhaps an improvement over the song she sings to herself most other times, which goes, in part, "dickadickadicka."

I fully accept that by posting these photos, I am ruining her chances to ever run for political office. That's okay, anyway, since her father hates little more than he hates politicians. I just want her to stop making that face. As a side note, I also have no illusions about this blog's readership. Aunt Shirley, if you're there, send a comment. The other three of you? Yeah, you. C'mon. Write and tell me if you think this is just a phase or if her face really will stick that way.

Here's a parting shot to show her gleeful reaction when Mama recoils in horror at the Mmmna mmmna face.

Now that's my girl, laughing her freaking head off.

Hey, nice airplane

V had her one-year shots today. Shaun kept saying "It's for the greater good!" in a rather dark, forbidding tone...though I know it is. At least I hope it is. This was much worse than her first sets of shots, because she looked at us with betrayal in her eyes this time: before it was always "Hey...ooh, shiny." Now it was much more "Oh, sweet holy moses, how could you two people who claim to love me allow me to be hurt in such a way???" Or at least that's how it felt.
I considered not immunizing (and I say "I" because I'm pretty sure Shaun never considered it...) but it didn't feel right to me. If she gets autism because of these, well, maybe I'll feel differently. Really, though, this was our best choice for our family, and I hope fate doesn't screw me over and prove me wrong. Mostly I just want my kid to grow up, be healthy, and not die of an archaic disease. Is that so wrong?
The airplane swing is Linus'. We just borrowed it a bit.

Wedded Bliss...

So I was in a wedding on Friday! My dear dear friend Tami and her sweet man Josh tied the knot in a gorgeous ceremony, and I got to be a part of it, and whoo-doggies, I'm still tired. Anyway, on the way down, Shaun gave V her first lesson on how to ride in the front seat (which will happen in about 12 years). Don't worry, the car wasn't moving, and they were just waiting for me to come out of my 13th bathroom stop. I couldn't stop laughing at the two of them, chillin' in the front seat, listening to AM radio, talking about how awesome milk is (I assume that's what they were talking about...).

Here's a picture of the bride, for your viewing pleasure. This is right before the ceremony, when we were just trying to pass the time. Isn't she dreamy? I met Tami in college in 1991, and her wedding was a big reunion-esque affair, with many of our dear friends all together again. It made me lonesome for a time when we all lived together or nearly so, and had lasagna pot-lucks about every two weeks, where those of us on food stamps bought the food, and those who were not bought the beer. It was all very bohemian and idyllic and I imagine that's still how it is in the Cities, while I sit (mostly) lonesome in the north, thinking of the Glory Days (cue music). Every time we go down there, but especially this time, I vow to return more often, to stay more connected, and to tell these wonderful people how very much I love love love them.

And these are two of the beautiful bridesmaids (for some reason, I have no photo of me in the dress, so imagine this dress only bigger. But isn't it cute)? This is Jeni and one of the Heathers. Note their fabulous flower necklaces, our gift from the bride and groom (and our bouquets matched. Crazy).

Because we have a tendency to sequester ourselves (and I'm always looking for ways to save money), we stayed with our sweet friends Ed and Linda on Thursday and Saturday nights, and in the hotel only on Friday. Ed and Linda are two of the kindest people on earth, I swear, and whenever we're with them it's comfortable and fun, and we laugh a lot. V adores them both and really likes Bart, their amazingly well-trained dog. Linda made a cake for Miss V's birthday, and though she doesn't look it, V was very pleased indeed.

On Sunday, V and I got to play with Mary Ellen and Collin (as well as Steve, Joy, Susanne, Tenessa, and Linus) while Daddy and Uncle Dan and Uncle Andy went to the Twins' game. Here, Collin is holding Linus' Shaun doll, from a Jen & Shaun set we gave the Glees when they moved away. Apparently, the Glee household rejoices mightily and makes fun of us non-stop, using our respective dolls.

Whew. See why I'm still tired? I also managed to pack in a trip to IKEA and to S.R. Harris, the most amazing fabric store in the world. Of course, one might ask why I'd want to go to IKEA and a 30,000 foot fabric warehouse the same weekend of wearing 3 inch heels for a wedding, but if you DO ask, I'll just kick you with my bloody foot.

Crafty goodness, upcoming: some shoes for V, some more skirts (of course!) and a new dang stuffed creature, one way or another.

Birthday Girl

We had a little party this weekend, as we are going out of town tomorrow (V's actually birth birthday). It was so awesome to see her open her gifts and get excited! And I can't believe I've been a mother for nearly a year, and how much she's changed and grown and...oh, mercy. This parenting experience is as profound as anything I've ever experienced. No wonder people are always writing bad poetry about it.

In lieu of bad poetry, here's a shot of V on her new scooter, with cousin Will pushing her at approximately the speed of light. I adore this shot, with the blurred backgroud, and Will's little head determined to push on, and V looking up a bit surprised at going warp speed for the first time ever.

Tonight, I want to make her a new pair of shoes, as we are going to the kind of wedding where a one-year old should probably wear shoes, and my one-year old should certainly wear shoes I've made. But I also have to alter my dress and learn to walk in 3 inch heels tonight, so no promises, baby girl.


Here we are in the firelight on Saturday, surrounded by people we love, close enough to the lake to hear the loons call (if it weren't for that cover band across the road...). My mom took this picture, and I love how V is peering up at her Grandmother.

In years to come, I hope I remember this birthday party, with all the joy she had in every gift, the amazement and patience she had with her cake, and the sweet way she curls when she falls asleep after being really tired. When she's 12 and I can't recall ever WANTING children in the first place, I really, really hope I remember this year.

Good-bye, sweet boy...

So thirteen days ago, out of the clear blue, Egon bit someone. No one we know: a man bicycling by on the street. E got away from me, ran over, bit the guy, and ran back to the house.

After talking it over, and thinking of the sight of the giant bruise on that man's thigh, and thinking about how if he ever bit V, he'd break her bones, and talking for a long time with my dear cousin-in-law Colleen, who trains and loves dogs, Shaun and I decided we had to put our big white giant down. He has been more aggresive in the last year, just little things, but added together with the Big Bite, we felt it was too dangerous not to. It was gut-wrenching and awful and the only way to go.

It took many, many phone calls, and it's all such a horrible, sordid, nasty tale that I don't want to tell it again right now, but let's just say I think someone in the tri-county area needs to FIGURE OUT WHAT THE LAW IS so no one ever has to go through what we went through. But finally, this morning, we found an understanding vet hospital that helped us put our beloved pet to sleep without SCREWING IT UP. They were compassionate, respectful, and awesome, and if you're ever in Fargo and need a veterinarian, talk to me first because I know the one you should go to.

I'm sorry for all the yelling but truly, the 3 other vets we worked with are all staffed entirely by idiots. And it takes a lot for me to call someone an idiot.

Despite all this, we are feeling relieved now, and safe, and very sad and lonesome. I'm not sure I believe in heaven for humans, but by god, if there's a heaven for dogs, I hope our Egon is there, enjoying peanut butter sandwiches and lots of loving games of catch.

All I've been thinking about this week is that line in Dead Man Walking, when Sister Helen says "I want the last face you see to be the face of love." We were the last thing he saw, and every cell of me loved him. I hope he knew that.

Seriously obsessed...

The pink camo is a bit wonky and has buttons instead of snaps. It took 8 tries to get the buttonholes right, but now I want to sew buttonholes on everything that stands still.

The brown with tan illustrates the shape/structure of the whole thing. It's just one piece, cut on the fold. I cut, hem, bind, and sew closures. I thought about lining this one, since the white back isn't too pretty, but it's pretty rare that it shows, anyway, and this is another upholstery fabric that is heavy enough by itself.

In my frugal living corner, each of these skirts take 3 yards, and both of these fabrics are from the 99 cent bin. Plus 50 cents in snaps (or 2 buttons from my old, underused button box), and I've made a skirt for less than 4 dollars. It fits me perfectly, I adore it, and I can adapt it in so many ways to have a whole skirt wardrobe.

Seriously, I think I may have to start a Church of Skirts. Who's with me?

Skirts!

I finally found a wrap skirt pattern in my size (nearly) that I really like. Butterick 3526. So I've made 3 so far, and cut one for my mom and my sister, and have fabric for me for 3 more. Can I wear one every single day, do you think?

Anyway, here's the brown with blue...the fabric was $1.75 a yard at Mill End Textiles: it's a denim-weight upolstry fabric. The waist is bound with seam tape, and I've used 2 snaps to hold it together. It's very comfortable and though I'm not as photogenic as I'd hoped, it looks quite cute and swingy.

Behind me is a quilt I've been needing to bind for the last 4 years. I figure if I show it here, I'll shame myself into finishing it. It was a Christmas gift for my sister-in-law and her husband many Christmases ago...I must remember to not give unfinished presents, because look what happens.

I have photos of the other 2 skirts, but they will wait for another day. School is starting very soon, and I have pencils to sharpen and syllabi to staple. And many, many more skirts to make before I sleep.

Works in progress...

Why do I only think to take pictures after the sun is either going down or covered by storm clouds? I have been busy sewing while the sun shines, and will try to be more on top of photos tomorrow during daylight. I'm obsessed with a new skirt pattern, and have finished 2, cut 2, and have 5 more waiting to be cut. (yes, I think 9 skirts=obsession).

Also, for the last 2 days V and I have been in Hendrum, painting my sister's house. V loves it, because she gets to play with her cousin (or, more importantly, his toys).

Please tune in tomorrow for fantastic photos of the best skirts ever...

Thrift store magic

A little thrift store shopping + $9.35 brought this pile o' stuff home with me. Here's the before sorting picture.

The fabric on the left is 2 1/2 yards of vintage something or other...I know it's vintage because it's 36" wide and gorgeous. The photo doesn't clearly show the shiny goldness of this fabric. I think it will make a lovely lining for a bag, and/or a little dress for V. The fabric on the right is part of a twin-sized duvet cover (and it came with a matching pillow sham), new from Target, which gives their overstock to one group of thrift stores in town. It's heavy cotton, almost denim-like, and the back is solid black. It's awesome.

In the middle is, as far as I can tell, a Gomez Addams doll. I love him, and I think every red-blooded American girl should have a Gomez Addams doll to play with. You'll notice Gomez is admiring a pile of notions. Here's the pile, sorted neatly.

It was a grab-bag, and here is the list of what was inside.

• 1 package quilt binding
• 3 pkgs single-fold bias tape
• 6 pkgs double-fold bias tape
• 6 pkgs flexi-lace hem tape *
• 8 pkgs seam binding *
• 1 pkg seam tape *
• 2 pkgs hem tapes *
• 6 pkgs hem facings *
• 2 pkgs blanket binding
• 9 pkgs rick-rack
• 3 pkgs middy braid *
• 6 pkgs biased & corded piping
• 1 waistband skirt elastic
• 3 zippers
• 2 religious magnets *

Now, about 3 of these are faded or discolored, to the point where I might need to dye them in order to use them. And the ones with asterisks? I don't know what those can do...except the middy braid, which actually explains itself on the package. But still, I got 45 items! for $2.50! Which equals...less than 6 cents each. And I've been using gobs of bias tape binding lately, so this was a wise investment. Plus, now I can learn how to cord things in 5 different colors.

To sum up:
Notions grab bag: $2.50
Vintage fabric: $2
Duvet cover: $4
Gomez doll: $ .50
Tax: $ .35

Total: $9.35

Oh, goddess of thrift store shopping, thank you for your kindness.

Expect pictures of fancy things made with these notions in the near future.

Between Scylla and Charybdis

I'm trying to decide if I want to open an Etsy shop, and if I do, what I might want to name it. "Languishing" is the title of a zine I started publishing in 1995 (and still do, occasionally), and it fits me well. It combines the idea of inaction with anguish: the urge to stagnate vs. the need to move forward...

Enough of my life philosophy. I don't know that "Languishing" is a particularly fun or ambitious name for a shop. I mean, if there was a store in the mall named Languishing, would you go in it? I would, of course, because I've been publishing a zine by that name for eleven years, but why would anyone else?

I would like to make and sell mostly gifts for children, both fun and utilitarian, and all lovely. So I want something playful, not too obscure (see the subject of this post for an example of one suggestion), that won't annoy me in two years.

Yet I hate it when people have different names for their blogs and their shops. Don't they know anything about branding? And even if I don't open an Etsy shop, I'd like to make some labels (or have them made) because I love the look of labels, and there are a couple of shops in town in which I'd like to place my wares, and I think labels would make things at least appear more polished.

Ach, this is almost as difficult as naming a child. I welcome suggestions/ rebuttals/constructive insults.

Here's a picture to cheer us both up. My mom took it last week on her way to our house. I love how gray the sky is, and how brilliant and yellow the sunflower's petals are. I think she considers this one an accident, but I really like it.

33 Things

1. My middle name is Loy, after my mother's middle name.
2. I was a vegetarian for a year but came back for the bacon.
3. I am the messiest person I know, next to my husband.
4. I love the color red, closely followed by orange, yellow, and purple (in that order).
5. I have been making and selling earrings since 1994. Proceeds from them bought me my first computer.
6. I am addicted to Taco John's. So much so that they know me there.
7. I get in food ruts and eat the same things for months at a time (see #6).
8. I've been on zoloft since 1992.
9. My daughter's name is V
10. I have a Master of Fine Arts in creative writing with an emphasis in poetry.
11. I love to teach more than almost anything else on earth.
12. My sister and I first sang in public when I was 4 and she was 3.
13. The only pizza I really like is pepperoni and mushroom.
14. I drink coca-cola classic like it's water. I didn't when I was pregnant, and that sucked.
15. I love E.E. Cummings
16. On more than one occassion I've referred to Robert Downey, Jr. as "the best actor of our generation."
17. I made my first quilt 15 years ago. It has long since disintegrated.
18. I am learning to love baseball
19. I snuck into a bookbinding class in college and the professor let me stay.
20. In undergraduate school, I was obsessed with both the historical Richard the Third and the Shakespearean play by the same name.
21. I've donated at least 12 inches of my hair to Locks of Love on 5 different occassions.
22. I have never seen the ocean, except if you count the New York Harbor, which I don't.
23. I am very very very allergic to cats.
24. I collect vintage party books. My favorite is from 1924.
25. I majored in English in college but almost majored in cultural anthropology.
26. I have studied circus freaks extensively since I was nine years old.
27. I know more about Elvis Presley than anyone I've ever met.
28. Dansko makes my favorite shoes, followed closely by Ecco.
29. My father died in 2002.
30. I have 2 tattoos and would like at least 2 more.
31. We have a white standard poodle named Egon, after the character in "Ghostbusters."
32. I love to swim and don't do it often enough.
33. I make a mean porkchop and wildrice hotdish.

Proof I am a total nerd

I was driving through town yesterday and noticed yet another personalized license plate. Now, normally these are not rocket science: it's pretty easy to figure out what they mean (for me anyway). LUV2SKI, for example. Anyway, this one said
PUCKLVR

Puck lover? Okay. So here's what happened in my brain.
Puck lover? Huh, someone really likes A Midsummer Night's Dream.
No, wait. That's probably not what it is...oh, sure, it's from the third season of the Real World. That obnoxious guy Puck. Huh, how obscure, to put that on your license plate.

I would like to tell you it was immediate, but no, it was several blocks, perhaps a mile, before I thought this:

Hm. Or maybe it's about hockey.

Ya think?

Criminy. This s l o w process makes me concerned for several reasons. 1. I am a college instructor. I'm on summer vacation, sure, but still, I can't be taking blocks and blocks to perceive the obvious, and 2. I live in freaking Minnesota. Kids play hockey before they can walk. 3. Not only did it take forever for the obvious to hit me in the ear, but I show my true colors by thinking Shakespeare first and MTV second. And 4. I felt strongly enough about this to blog on it.

Here's my moral: personalized plates are dangerous. You never know when a distractable college English teacher is going to have angst over your "obvious" hobby statement. Just stick with the JYF 884 variety. It's so much easier that way.

And Midsummer Night's Dream and past seasons of Real World deserve more recognition, dammit.

Portrait of a crafter as depraved

Because I am now obsessed with octopi, I am desperate to find the pattern for this octopus. Because I am a fool and don't know how the world works, I optimistically wandered to our local Salvation Army to find it. Of course it was not there, but I found this lovely book, copy right 1966. Mmm. Lookit how happy these ladies are to do stitchery and crafts! Now, I realize this has nothing to do with the aforementioned octopus pattern, but it soothed my savage crafting beast for only 75 cents. Ah.

But wait, I have inside photos, too! This kitty makes me want to learn how to embroider (click the photo for a bigger view, though it will still be blurry, I'm afraid):

And this page makes me excited and frightened at the same time. You MUST click for a larger view. And here is part of the description under the title "Just for Children": "Stuffed toys, in clever animal shapes, please the very young and find favor among teen-age collectors too." I wish that were true today. I wish I could give my 14 year old cousin that owl bag in the upper left hand corner and have her "find favor" and not stare at me with blank disdain. Ah. Maybe I just need to find cooler 14 year olds. The description of the owl bag, by the way, is "Golden owl, feathered with felt, is a wise choice for a carryall bag." Wise indeed.

At any rate, though I still seek the octopus pattern, I think I've already gotten 75 cents worth of pleasure from this crafty goodness book. Et tu?

More octopi for your viewing pleasure

But first, a shameless baby picture: I never expected to be the kind of momma who liked to do her daughter's hair, but how cute are these pigtails? In this photo, V's eating a Club cracker at the Fryn Pan. I think she's concentrating so hard because it was her first Club cracker, and she wanted to do it right.

Here are a few more octopi...the light blue one with the closed eyes is out of alova suede and a summery cotton print underneath. The one on the far right is an orange, yellow, brown and white batik with brown velveteen on the bottom, and the octopus on the left is out of soft silver velvet with purple cotton that's printed with silver stars on the bottom. Depending on the fabric used, each octopus has different results: the alova suede makes the legs curl up adorably; the velvet makes the legs have sort of a candy-cane sworl pattern (as you can kind of see here). Velveteen is a bear to sew with but doesn't make the legs curl or twist, at least as far as I can tell.

I'll try to get a couple of close ups of the remaining octopi, if I can bear the heat outside....Stay tuned.

Update: Okay, it's too hot to go outside. Seriously, people. But you can click on the pictures to see larger images. The pattern is from this book, Adventures in Toy Making by Gillian Bradshaw Smith , which I bought at the Dakota Boy's Ranch (a local thrift store) 3 years ago or so. I paid no more than 50 cents, I'm sure. I enlarged the octopus to about 200%...she calls for about 400%, but who needs an octopus bigger than a 2 year old? Maybe when V actually IS 2 years old.

Octopus Parade

A week ago today, Shaun and I and V hauled 10 octopi (octopusses?) to Hendrum for Hendrum's SummerFest. Tables for selling stuff were free (!) so we had just the time investment. I sold 4 large octopi, 2 little ones, and 2 starfish. Also five pairs of earrings, for a total gross income of about $103. This was fun, low-pressure, and rewarding.

Pictured above are 2 of the octopi, both of which are now sold, and a couple of starfish. I should probably mention that most of our sales were to family members, but to be honest, much of Hendrum is related to me, and hey, their money is as good as anyone's.

I'll post more pictures if I can get Blogger to cooperate. Thank you for your support.

Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

That's a song from They Might Be Giants, and if you've heard it, you've got it stuck in your head right now. Bwah ha ha ha.

Cricket over at repurpose has done her "Letter B" likes and dislikes, and since I don't wanna be behind in the alphabet, here's mine:

Likes:
1. Blue
2. Bacon (ooh. I love bacon. I was a vegetarian for a year and had to come back to the carnivore side just for the bacon)
3. Beer. Man, I miss beer.
4. Burping (geez, i sound like a hick. I love bacon, beer, & burping? classy.)
5. Black beans and rice
6. Blah blah babycakes

Dislikes:
1. Our old Buick, which needs a new muffler
2. George Bush
3. burnt chocolate cake
4. the bubonic plague
5. beastiality

Never judge the beauty of a day...

Today's weather is gorgeous: summer, but not so hot it hurts to go outside. I once read a sign on a hotel marquee...someone there had decided to put up little "truisms" everyday, and it made my commute more interesting...and one day it said "Never judge the beauty of a day by the weather." Which, in 6 years of driving past that sign, is the only one I can recall now, but I really like it a lot and think of it often. Especially in the winter, or when it's so hot it hurts to go outside. "Never judge the beauty of a day by the weather." Hm.

In crafty news, I'll be selling some of my wares at a craft sale in Hendrum, my hometown, tomorrow. Well, it's a craft sale mostly because I'll be there...I think my sister said to expect 2 other people to be selling. But that's okay. Whatever doesn't sell will be Christmas gifts, made well ahead. I'll post a picture tomorrow or the next day of the table: everything's in boxes right now, priced and ready to go. Mostly I'm selling jewelry, earrings I've been making for almost 15 years now. But I also found an octopus pattern in this book, which I adapted a bit, and made 10 octopi. Each is about 18" across and 6-8"tall. We'll see if they'll sell....it's so hard to price things, and looking on line doesn't offer much help, because Hendrum prices and internet prices are widely varied. And these suckers take FOREVER: forever to sew, forever to turn (like over an hour each), and forever and a day to stuff. Seriously, at minimum wage with minimal material cost, these should run around $60. But all of Hendrum would laugh and laugh and laugh, so I'm asking $15. Which means I'll make about $1 an hour for my trouble, plus materials. But since I did most of the work while watching TV with Shaun, I guess it's acceptable. Plus if people love them (and I do love them, which helps keep me optimistic) maybe I can make more, put a few in local shops, open an online store, quit my job and retire in 2 years. Don't you think?

I feel bad now that I have no photo to show you the results of said hard work. Perhaps you'll tune in tomorrow, though, and see what the heck I'm rambling on about.

Worth the wait

Hallo, hallo. This is going to take 3 hours to load, but I wanted you to see that my daughter has GOT to be a comedian when she grows up. Look how hilariously she eats a graham cracker: And a shot of our fireworks from a couple weeks ago at Lake Belle Taine: Shaun's been talking about doing fireworks for years, but ... they scare me. So this year he just came home with a pile of explosives, which we carefully packed into the car around the car seat for the 90 mile trip to the lake. In the end, they were beautiful. And no one got hurt. What's not to love?

Baby's first fourth of July

Shaun was very excited for V to see fireworks. V was .... less excited. Maybe sparklers are just prettier in the dark. We're going to try for a more enthusiastic reaction this weekend at the lake. I just think these two pictures are hilarious, as a pair.

Thank you Hilary...

I have been a bit obsessed with sewing lately. Here are my 4 Wee Wonderful creations, from the Put-Together Book from Hilary Lang. From left to right: Bella, Persimmon, RuRu, and Peek. I know the photo's lousy, and Peek's missing a shoe, but as I mentioned, I'm obsessed with sewing lately, not photography or details. These girls all have embroidered faces, to make them super baby-friendly. Plus, they like babies. Well, all but Peek. Peek suspects a baby stole her shoe.