So it looks like Shauners should get to come home tomorrow, late morning or early afternoon. We'll meet with doctors and set up appointments to start his cardiac rehab regimen. In the meantime, the nurses dropped off a packet of information for us to peruse to better understand what we're dealing with.
You know what it's titled?
Heart Failure Packet.
Fun, right? What the hell? All kinds of other diseases get fancy names (see: chilbain, dropsy, scarlet fever, whooping cough), but this is the best they can come up with? Let's call it Jeanette, or Tha-Thump, Tha-Thump, or even Heart Sickness Packet. Heart Failure Packet just sounds so...so...much like a lost cause.
But wait, it gets better. The inside of the Heart Failure Packet includes fascinating pamphlets like "Living Well with Heart Failure," and "A Stronger Pump" with a cartoon of a heart flexing a....bicep. What? Oh, and the paperwork to create a living will.
I understand. Things are very serious. But, um, Meritcare, maybe include...I dunno, a few pretty stickers? Some semblance of hope? Perhaps a free t-shirt that says "I'm Successful at Heart Failure!"
We have to cut out salt. Do you know what has the most salt? Foods that taste good. Everything made by every fast-food company everywhere. My mother's homemade bean and ham soup. Frickin' milkshakes!
I'm looking forward to Shaun coming home, and I'm giving all our salt-laden food away. And if Meritcare needs advice on sprucing up their Jeanette Packet, I'm all over it.
Thanks for the love, guys. It means the world to us.
J, $, and V