28 October 2009

Research paper time again

Yes, it's that time in the semester: that time when my students choose persuasive research paper topics with which they will work for the next seven weeks. I encourage them to find something they care about, something that interests them, something they can really spend some time exploring, studying, and gathering sources for. They need to write a 5-7 page paper on this topic, and utilize at least 8 reputable sources.

Here are some topics asked about today.

Why the Vikings played so bad on Sunday.
Why my ex-girlfriend is so crazy.
How stupid it is for a Minnesota professional baseball team to have an outdoor stadium.
What should my major be?
Whether or not the Vikings will ever win a Superbowl.
Refutation of all organized religion.
Why the Vikings need a new stadium.

Do you see any themes? Many of these are actually acceptable topics (well, not the ex-girlfriend, or last Sunday's game, or your major). And I forbid writing on abortion, the death penalty, legalization of marijuana, euthanasia, gay marriage or gay adoption, and lowering the drinking age, which, as one student put it, takes out all the good ones.

Oh, research papers. So much to teach, and so little time.

Pray for us all. Unless you're the student who's going to refute all religion. Then, um, well, whatever.


Megan said...

Good grief - for a moment I panicked - I couldn't remember the topic my own research paper! Thank goodness I have a tendency to NEVER clear out old files off my computer!

Oh, Jennifer, and the most pathetic part? All I could remember was that Andy's topic...biofuel.

Good luck to your new students. I think you'll need the most well-wishes and luck, though. I recall proof-reading some of my classmates' papers; you are a saint for taking some of them seriously.

Sam Kaiser said...

What I wouldn't give to write a paper on lesbian married couples having monthly abortions while smoking medical marijuana. Damn it!