14 December 2011

Vintage Top Nine List

From the print issue of Languishing, a topical top 9 list. This one is from Issue 5, Volume 4...so around 2000? Somewhere in there. It's not that I don't have new ideas; I just like sharing my old ideas with the internets, hey. V's in public school for the first time, now, and she comes home and says things  like "Why doesn't Suzette celebrate Christmas?" And I'm like, "Suzette? Well, she's probably French..." "No, she's brown." Oh, well, okay. Anyway, I don't know why Suzette doesn't celebrate Christmas, or why she's brown and/or French. But I can offer you this.

Top 9 things to Not Say to Your Atheist Friends During the Holidays

9. Does it bother you that you’re going to hell?

8. Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

7. That’s okay; the pickles are kosher.

6. You know, they used to burn people like you.

5. What’s your problem?

4. How many presents do you get with your no-god having ways?

3. Man, your childhood must’ve been awful.

2. Atheist? So, like, do you eat eggs and stuff?

1. Well then, Happy Kwanzaa.

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