On rearing a wee serial killer*

Is it wrong that this plastic doll arm is one of V's favorite toys? Is it wrong that she's wearing a Johnny Cash t-shirt with red and yellow hawaiian print pants and a pink sweater? Because if this is wrong, honey, I don't wanna be right.

I also find myself compelled to buy the strangest toys at thrift stores. I know I posted in the past about the ever-so-appealing Gomez Addams doll, but did you know V also plays with not just a Mr. Magoo doll, but a Mr. Magoo On Vacation doll?? I'm pretty sure this is how to raise your own serial killer...

In the back of my mind, I recall a controversy from the recent past about a Mr. Magoo movie that was never released because the blind population protested. Maybe I'm making that up, but just in case, let me for the record state that I do not condone the mocking of blind people, nor do I find it funny when people can't see. I just think stuffed toys in the form of little old men are funny. Now I suppose the AARP will stomp all over me with their canes and Hoverrounds, but sometimes you just gotta take a risk.

Here's a handy list of words my kid can say. She doesn't use them in context much (except for "hi," "Bye!" and "cracker") but she can say the words.

Bye

cracker

circle

thank you

moo

cluck (duck? muck? It's so hard to tell)

two (said in response to "one...")

four (in response to "three...")

quack

yeah

no

meow

hi

I'm not so sure the child needs to know what animals say: how often do you personally use this information? At any rate, there's really not a lot more she needs to know. I mean, many people get by in life with even fewer words. Speech is overrated.

Now I'm gonna get yelled at by the mutes and speech teachers and animal rights activists. Damn.

*Did I ever mention that as a child I was mildly obsessed with Ed Gein? And as an adult how I am mildly obsessed with hating on Wikipedia?